The neglect and abandonment of children is a nationwide problem.
STCH Ministries is part of a nationwide solution.

According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, nearly half a million children are in foster care and children’s homes throughout the nation, and more are added every day. The sheer magnitude of the need is beyond the capacity of any single institution or agency. At STCH Ministries we believe that collaboration with other like-minded, Christian organizations is essential if we want to address the big-picture issues of family brokenness in our world. In the last issue of the Messenger, we highlighted the many ways we join forces with Texas Baptists to reach people in need. STCH Ministries also has a long history of collaboration on the national level, bringing together ideas and relationships that result in a solution greater than the sum of its parts.

In September 2018, STCH Ministries participated in the Connections Conference, an annual meeting that brings together children’s homes from across the country to collaborate on development and communications topics. The conference included the twenty-one organizations from nineteen states that are members of the Baptist Coalition for Children and Families (BCCF), and the theme of the event was “Staying Connected.”

When it comes to meeting the needs of children and families, the areas of development and communications are typically behind the scenes, supporting the more direct ministry roles of houseparents, counselors, and caseworkers. However, the conference sessions emphasized the need for advocacy at both the state and national levels, giving a voice to the most vulnerable members of society. To a room full of professional communicators, the objective resonated deeply.

And yet, as a discussion panel of Baptist news editors pointed out, a single organization does not have the kind of reach necessary to affect the broader cultural conversation. To do that, multiple voices must be united in a chorus. Whether it is a children’s home working with churches and their state’s Baptist convention, or a collection of children’s homes like BCCF, the element of teamwork gives greater societal relevance to the cause.

Rod Marshall, BCCF President, underlined that cooperative commitment in his address to the group, saying, “We work closely with the North American Mission Board, the Women’s Missionary Union, and Baptist Press to address the needs of families in the United States. Baptist childcare providers have been the best in childcare for over 150 years.”

In addition to guest speakers, the Connections Conference featured many presentations by the staff of participating organizations, including STCH Ministries. In the spirit of “Staying Connected,” attendees shared both their successes and challenges, gleaning ideas and solutions from each other’s experiences.

STCH Ministries staff member Jeny Cortez commented, “There’s no sense of competition. We all want everyone to be successful. We know it is all for the glory of God and the healing of broken lives.”

Historically, STCH Ministries has seen the fruit of collaboration and the power of a united front. Mark Childs, STCH Ministries Vice President of Homes for Children, recalls the work of childcare pioneers in Texas, including Jess Lunsford, the founder of the South Texas Children’s Home.

“He made numerous trips to Austin, along with other faith-based organizational leaders, to advocate for the safety of children in Texas. Their efforts led to the creation of a licensing department within the Department of Family and Protective Services to ensure the safe treatment of children placed into the foster care system.”

More than sixty years later, Childs says that this unity and cooperation are just as essential as they were in the past. In addition to BCCF, STCH Ministries is a member of several associations that bring together children’s homes from around the country, such as the Coalition of Residential Excellence (CORE) and the Association of Christian Childcare Administrators (ACCA). These groups promote best practices in childcare, and they also provide a national platform to influence public thinking about the needs of children.

“The only way that can be achieved is through a network of providers coming together to share strengths, expertise, and resources,” says Childs. “STCH Ministries will continue to strive to be an integral part of this network of hope.”

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The first time I came to the play therapy playroom, it was kind of hard to believe. The shelves were stuffed with every kind of toy I could imagine! Cars and trucks, games and crafts, tons of animal and people figures, play guns and swords, dolls, dollhouses, and things to build with. And there were other fun things…like dress-up clothes, an art easel, puppets, a BIG bop bag, and even a small sandbox! The lady my mom told me would help me said I could play with anything in the room in any way I wanted!

But…I didn’t know what I wanted to do, or what to say. So I just sat at the little table in the middle of the room and looked around. It was quiet for a long time. I liked the quiet, and the lady seemed okay with it too. She just smiled, and she didn’t even ask me a bunch of questions or tell me what to do! Finally, I built a sandcastle in the sandbox and put a few special things by my castle. And when it was time to leave, I didn’t want to go.           – A young child’s reflections

For young children dealing with trauma, the play therapy room quickly becomes a safe spot. Yet much more than “child’s play” takes place as the children interact with trained therapists who understand the importance of play.

According to the Association for Play Therapy, the natural process of play helps children regulate emotions and improve communication and problem-solving skills. Play also lifts a child’s spirit and self-esteem.

“Play is a child’s language, and toys are their words,” said Lorena Mendez, Regional Director-Corpus Christi for STCH Ministries Family Counseling, quoting a common axiom among play therapists. “There’s no better way to establish a connection with a child than to say, ‘Hey, let’s play.’ Play therapy gives a child the freedom to express their experiences, needs, wants, wishes, and feelings in a way that is developmentally appropriate for them.”

Mendez, a licensed professional counselor-supervisor (LPC-S) and registered play therapist-supervisor (RPT-S), divides her time between counseling, sharing her expertise through conferences, and overseeing the work of other STCH Ministries therapists, including those working toward their registered play therapist (RPT) certification.

Parents typically bring their children to STCH Ministries for counseling because of behavioral issues at home or school. Changes in behavior can arise in situations of bullying, divorce or abandonment, past physical or sexual abuse, and grief over the loss of a parent. Depression, attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and conduct disorders also create difficulties for children and their families.

“Trauma is very disruptive and makes everyone feel out of control,” shared STCH Ministries therapist Carolyn Cocklin, who is currently working toward her RPT. “Emotionally speaking, children have some of the same feelings and thinking as adults who experience post-traumatic stress – anger, confusion, fear, guilt, or shame. However, children lack the reasoning abilities to understand the why behind a trauma, or the cognitive ability to express in words what they are experiencing. So, they typically blame themselves. It is important to give children a place where they can feel validated and in control. The play therapy playroom becomes the child’s little world where they can mentally process things and begin to stabilize their behavior.”

STCH Ministries therapists are trained in various play therapy methods to meet the unique challenges of each child. Often, they choose the non-directive client-centered approach to best build rapport, trust, and consistency, Mendez said.

During a client-centered session, the play therapist patiently listens and observes the child at play without judgment. The therapist does not ask questions about what the child is doing or question them about their past. To give the child greater creative freedom, the therapist also avoids labeling any object or behavior. If a child asks the therapist for help with decisions or actions, the therapist will return responsibility to the child with gentle, empowering phrases such as: “You choose”; “That can be anything you want it to be”; or an encouraging “You can do it.”

Therapists see parents privately every three or four weeks during the play therapy counseling process. Therapists work hard to give parents positive feedback on their child to help them see the child as a whole person and not just the problem. As adults in a child’s world become healthier emotionally, and family dynamics improve, children get better too.

“What I love about play therapy is how unique it is,” Mendez said. “It is unlike anything the child will experience in life because it is so non-directive. Kids get plenty of teaching, instructions, discipline, and criticism in the big world. The small play therapy room gives children the opportunity to get what they need without anyone telling them what that is. It’s a chance to learn who they are and how they would do it if given the time and space.”

Children will be kept safe, of course, and are not allowed to hurt themselves, the therapist, or any property. But limits are not set until there is a need for a boundary based on a child’s behavior. When children do test the boundaries with their behavior, the therapist will show empathy first, then verbalize a limit and gently redirect the child.

Important work takes place in the playroom when children use toys as symbols to represent something in their life. Therapists call this a play metaphor.

“Many times children are unaware they are using metaphor in their play,” Mendez explained. “They will use the metaphor to express feelings, to show what they want to happen, or to work through a painful memory, fear, or experience. A vital part of our connection with kids in the playroom is to stay in the metaphor with them.”

Cocklin also finds this to be true. “A child’s metaphorical play provides a picture of how the child perceives themselves and their life,” Cocklin said.

“As they live out events of their past in the playroom, the metaphor is ‘live’ and it can be controlled. The child can even rewrite the ending for what is happening in their life. This is how they get a big win!”

It is important to realize that play therapy is not a quick fix for children. It helps stabilize the child at the developmental stage they are at, as well as provide the child with a greater ability to perceive, respond to, and manage their lives and behaviors in a healthier way. It helps them regain some control over their lives. But the effects of trauma may need to be addressed again in the future as the child reaches a new level of development.

Over the course of the treatment, parents gradually begin noticing their child seems “better,” has fewer tantrums, or doesn’t get in trouble as much. Children move from being sad, angry, or fearful in the playroom to being more spontaneous, content, and confident. Therapists also see improvements in the areas of problem-solving, communication, self-care, and self-control.

“The world is God’s playroom,” Mendez concluded. “He allows us time, space, and energy to get what we need or what we think we need. Just like the therapist in the play therapy room, He sits WITH us as we learn from the boundaries He has set, and His unconditional, loving presence. It takes a while, but He is patient—watching, waiting, validating, hoping, and believing the best for our lives. This is the love we take into the playroom each time we enter a child’s world.”

To find out if play therapy is right for your child, contact STCH Ministries Family Counseling at 1.833.83.STCHM.

Pastor Raul Elizondo has seen firsthand the impact that financial struggles have on a family.

“A big percentage of my church grew up in poverty—welfare, food stamps,” says Elizondo. The statistics show they are not alone: one in five American households receives government assistance.

“But those programs are to help temporarily,” continues Elizondo, “not to be a way of life.”

The Federal Reserve has also reported that the average household debt in America is more than double the median household income. Putting the debt problem in a spiritual perspective, Pastor Elizondo says, “We have people that have been freed from sin, but are still slaves to the lender.”

As the pastor of New Life Baptist Church in Corpus Christi, Elizondo believes that the church needs to take a holistic approach to teaching and discipleship, and that includes the topic of money.

“A healthy perspective when it comes to our finances can just make a world of difference in our churches. I believe there are a lot of churches struggling because, to be quite honest, we’re afraid to talk about finances in our churches.”

When STCH Ministries’ Jimmy Rodriguez approached Elizondo about hosting a Faith & Finances class at his church, the decision was not a difficult one.

“I said, ‘Yes, sign me up!’”

Over the twelve weeks that followed, STCH Ministries staff conducted the largest Faith & Finances class in our program’s history, with more than forty regular attendees meeting at New Life Baptist Church every Sunday evening. Classes covered biblical truths about money, such as the fact that “the borrower is servant to the lender” (Prov. 22:7) and God’s ultimate ownership of everything (Ps 24:1). According to Elizondo, the spiritual focus was one of the defining marks of the program.

“Every Faith & Finances class started in prayer. You felt God in the sessions.”

See Faith & Finances in Action

Pastor Raul Elizondo from New Life Baptist Church shares his perspective on Faith & Finances in this video.

But Faith & Finances is every bit as practical as it is spiritual, teaching participants how to track their spending, get out of debt, and set savings goals. The curriculum follows the story of Eva and Isaac, a fictional couple who learn to manage their dysfunctional finances by applying the principles in each lesson. Just like the real life participants, Eva and Isaac struggle on their journey and sometimes make mistakes. (When the story recounted Eva’s visit to a payday lender, the class at New Life responded with a collective “BOOO!”) But in the end, persistence and self-discipline win the day for Eva and Isaac.

According to Pastor Elizondo, the happy endings were more than just a fairy tale in the Faith & Finances class.

“There were several cases that I would consider great breakthrough. One of them, within a twelve-week span, got rid of most of their credit card debt. They were inspired the first two or three sessions, and I loved it when the lady started sharing her testimony, ‘Me and my husband started talking.’ So not only were they able to accomplish a financial goal, but also a relational goal.”

In another instance, a young woman spoke to her pastor through tears as she realized how her spending habits were resulting in her poverty. “It was a sad moment, but also a positive moment, because I told her, ‘Sister, at least you’ve realized what the problem is now, and I consider that a victory.’”

New Life had used other financial training material before, but Pastor Elizondo found the Faith & Finances curriculum to be more accessible to all participants, regardless of their age or financial background. In fact, one of the star students of the class was also one of the youngest.

Even as a middle schooler, Juan already knows how to work hard for his money. With his parents’ encouragement, he started a lawn care business at the age of eleven to earn extra money for activities he wanted to do. Now at the age of thirteen, he hires his friends to help work on yards in the neighborhood. As Juan made more money, it became more important for him to learn how to handle it.

“What this class is teaching me is to better understand where my money is going and to control it,” Juan says. “Before, I wouldn’t even write it down. If I needed to buy fuel, I would buy fuel. But with this class, it’s teaching me to write it down so I know.”

Armed with a spending plan, Juan is now able to make sure that the fruits of his labor don’t slip away inadvertently.

“Recently I’ve realized that most of my money goes to food because, well, I’m always hungry. So now I’m learning to budget that and keep enough money for a business and even for an [emergency fund].”

Juan’s experience illustrates that it’s never too early to begin learning the principles of biblical money management, just as other participants have seen that it is never too late to change old habits and start doing things God’s way.

At STCH Ministries, Faith & Finances is one of several ministries designed to assist families at the prevention level, before stress and conflict result in the breakup of a home. In the sequence of events that bring residents to our Homes for Children and Homes for Families campuses, financial issues are often a contributing factor. By partnering with local churches, our goal is to strengthen families in the community, who in turn are able to minister to other families.

At New Life Baptist Church, Pastor Elizondo has seen the first fruits of that process, and believes that changing attitudes about finances will pay even greater dividends in faith.

“God wants us to have an abundant life, and I believe that will affect our spiritual maturity, our ability to trust in God, and hopefully change the tide for the next generation as we become more educated, more knowledgeable about the role finances should have in our lives as believers of Christ.”