From Grief to Grace

JUSTIN AND HIS FAMILY HAVE FACED unimaginable heartache and emerged with a story of resilience and hope. From growing up in the small town of Marlin, Texas, to moving to the Valley with his family, Justin’s journey is one of profound loss, unexpected blessings and the transformative power of faith and counseling. 

A dedicated parent educator, Justin spends his days helping families nurture and develop their children. Moving from Marlin to Waco, he met his wife, whose career brought them to the Rio Grande Valley. Justin’s work involves engaging parents in activities that foster their children’s language, motor skills and cognitive development and educating them on family well-being. However, beneath his professional demeanor, Justin’s heart was burdened with profound personal grief. 

Early in their marriage, Justin and his wife faced the heartbreak of two miscarriages. Four years ago, the arrival of their son Josiah brought great joy to their lives. Two years later, the couple was thrilled to learn they were expecting their second son, Everett. However, their excitement was soon overshadowed by a devastating diagnosis: Everett had a rare condition called limb-body wall complex, which caused his internal organs to grow outside his body. Doctors informed them that Everett would not survive, bringing a deep well of sorrow into their hearts. 

Choosing to carry Everett to full term, Justin and his wife sought solace in their faith community, passionately praying for a miracle. On December 4, 2022, Justin received a call at work that something was wrong with his wife. Rushing her to the hospital, they faced the heart-wrenching reality of Everett’s birth via C-section. The trauma of witnessing his son’s condition and losing his son left Justin shattered. 

Grief overwhelmed Justin, and he broke down from the trauma of it all. His friends, trying to be supportive, avoided mentioning Everett, which only deepened Justin’s sense of isolation. He needed someone to talk to, someone to help him navigate his grief and pain. Seeking counseling, Justin first approached his church, but scheduling conflicts made it difficult for him to attend. Then, a church member recommended Caleb, a counselor from STCH Ministries. 

Shortly after Justin filled out the contact form, Caleb reached out to him. What stood out to Justin initially was that STCH Ministries provided counseling services regardless of his ability to pay. With medical bills and funeral expenses burdening his family, counseling would have been impossible without this support. 

Justin grew up in a home with rigid and damaging expectations about masculinity. This environment made Justin feel unsafe expressing his emotions. However, he soon found peace in Caleb’s compassionate and nonjudgmental approach to counseling. Caleb created a safe space for Justin, allowing him to finally express and process the feelings he had long suppressed. 

“I feel so comfortable with Caleb. He gives me a safe place to not worry about being criticized for having feelings and emotions over losing my son. That has helped me tremendously,” Justin shared. 

One of the most significant aspects of STCH Ministries’ support was Caleb’s shared faith. This common spiritual ground gave Justin a renewed connection to God, helping him see that despite his pain, God had never abandoned him. “He’s never left me. He’s never forsaken me. Caleb helped me to see that through his faith and our interactions. That’s beautiful,” Justin said. Through counseling, Justin began to understand that his son Everett was in a better place, surrounded by love and in the presence of God. 

Justin’s son, Josiah, also had to cope with Everett’s passing. During the pregnancy, the family tried their best to prepare Josiah, explaining that his baby brother would not stay with them but would go to heaven. During the singing of a hymn at Everett’s memorial service, a vision of his son in a garden with God brought Justin to tears. Toddler Josiah, seeing his father cry, offered comfort and cried with him, a tender moment that reinforced the importance of expressing emotions. “I thought that was good for me to show him that it’s okay for men to cry. I’m glad we have that experience together,” Justin expressed. 

The family is committed to keeping Everett’s memory alive while helping Josiah process the loss. Every other week, they pick out fresh flowers to set at Everett’s urn, which sits at their dining room table. They also have a little fire truck that they keep nearby for “baby brother”. 

These special moments, along with their mutual support during tough times, have been essential to the healing process. After an EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy session, which is a technique that uses guided eye movements to help people process and heal from trauma more quickly than traditional talk therapy, Justin often returns home feeling sensitive and emotional. Recognizing his exhaustion, Justin’s wife gently explains to Josiah that Daddy is feeling sad. In response, Josiah often gives his father a comforting hug. “Those hugs felt good because it was nothing I ever had growing up in my household. I appreciate my son comforting me when I’m feeling sad.” 

Counseling with STCH Ministries has also improved Justin’s marriage. He has learned to communicate his needs and feelings more openly, preventing emotions from building up and causing strain. This newfound openness extends to his workplace, where Justin has shared his story with his boss, creating an understanding and supportive environment. 

Through counseling, Justin has gained invaluable skills to manage anxiety and emotional breakdowns. He now uses these skills to support families he works with, sharing his story and the tools he has learned with parents who have had similar losses. Justin’s comfort with sharing his experiences has grown, and he can now think about Everett with a sense of peace and love. 

Growing up, Justin knew God was with him and saw evidence of His presence throughout his life. However, during his season of grief, he felt abandoned and struggled to see signs of God’s presence despite his constant prayers. The healing he has gained through counseling has opened Justin’s eyes to see God’s work in his life again. 

Justin also recognized the importance of surrounding himself with supportive, faith-filled friends. After moving to the Valley, the friendships he formed often brought out behaviors in Justin that he did not like. After Everett passed away, none of his previous friends were there for him. Justin realized that God was showing him the difference between the friends he had, and the kinds of friends God wanted for him. 

“Since everything happened, I’ve taken out the things that were toxic, and now my whole life is getting better. I feel that is God moving. He’s in control and still has plans for me, and I have people that support me now,” Justin said. 

Justin believes that Everett’s passing and his family’s grief are part of the larger story of God’s redemption. He continues to attend counseling, hopeful for ongoing healing and eager to help others by sharing his experiences. Recently, Justin shared his story at a work training session without breaking down, evidence of his progress. 

“STCH Ministries Family Counseling is a wonderful ministry, and I’m thankful they were able to work with me when we were financially distressed. I know the positive impact this ministry has had on me, and I want it to be able to help others, so I’m happy to support them now that we can,” Justin concluded. Through the compassionate support of STCH Ministries, Justin has found hope, healing and a renewed sense of faith, empowering him to support his family and others through their own journeys of grief and recovery.