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The story of a family, like that of an individual, can take many twists and turns along the road of life, and few know this better than the Parker siblings. Over the past fifteen years, seven Parker children have called Boothe Campus home; the oldest five are now grown, and thirteen-year-old Laura, the youngest, is still a resident at Love Cottage. Eighteen-year-old Josh, a brand new high school graduate, stands in the middle with one foot across the line of adulthood while he savors his last summer before starting college. To look at them now, one can see great potential and a promising future, but this family has seen their share of unexpected events, separations, and hardships. Looking back, Josh now clearly recognizes the hand of God at work.
“It gave us a lot of endurance and a lot of courage to do the things we do now,” he says. “I feel like God has done that, and then He’s given us this place to kind of show us His way of doing things.”
However, the future was anything but clear when a four-year-old Josh and his older siblings arrived at the South Texas Children’s Home in August of 2003.
THE ARRIVAL
Josh has little recollection of life before the children’s home, but his oldest sister Lilly remembers their arrival vividly.
“I was terrified,” she recalls. “A new place, so many new people, new parents, a new ‘family’ as I called it. I imagined a huge house with 100 kids, twenty kids to a room.”
Lilly put on a brave exterior for the sake of her younger siblings. “I HAD to be the strong one and not let my fear show through,” she says. But underneath the calm façade, she felt just the opposite.
“My father dropped us off and never looked back, so as any thirteen-year-old would feel, I was scared and felt so alone.”
Soon Lilly realized that the quiet neighborhood of cottages on Boothe Campus was nothing to fear, but like most children, the Parker kids needed time to settle in.
“It took a lot of adjusting,” Lilly says. “Probably over a year, to be exact, to work through the pain of abandonment and feeling unloved and ‘thrown away’.”
One year after the arrival of the six Parker children on campus, the family grew by one. Laura Parker was born and soon came to Boothe Campus as an infant.
For the next several years, the seven siblings continued to live at the children’s home together. Time and love began to heal the emotional trauma while the children built positive new memories.
“I remember all the different activities and going to camp,” says Samantha, who was in elementary school at the time. “I also remember all of the friends I had made while being there, and then also friends I had made at school.”
Lilly recalls the sense of peace that she began to discover as she settled into her new home.
“By the end of my sophomore year, I finally felt like I had a family, that I had ‘real’ parents that loved me for me.”
Soon Lilly graduated from high school at Pettus ISD, and Matthew, Lindsay, Andrew, Samantha, Josh, and Laura occupied a stair-step assortment of grade levels down to pre-school. They experienced the normal ups and downs of school and family life that make up childhood, but Lindsay (the third oldest) remembers this as a time of restoration.
“STCH helped us all heal and learn what it means to really love and be loved,” she says.
Life finally seemed stable. But the summer of 2007 would bring major changes for the Parker siblings.
THE SEPARATION
Shortly after Lilly’s graduation, the Parkers’ father removed the three youngest children, Samantha, Josh, and Laura, along with their seventeen-year-old brother Matthew, from the children’s home. Lilly continued on to college with the support of STCH Ministries and Lindsay and Andrew stayed at Boothe Campus to complete high school.
“I chose to stay because I knew the home would be able to support my dream of going to college and making a better life for myself,” says Lindsay.
At the same time, she felt a great sense of concern for her younger siblings.
“Honestly, I didn’t think they should have left,” she says. “I knew my dad couldn’t and wouldn’t take care of them like they should have been.”
The younger siblings moved to Port Aransas with their father. The move was bittersweet. When asked if he felt that returning to his dad was a good thing, Josh says, “In a way yes, but also no…He wasn’t exactly employed.”
The next eight years were marked by instability for the youngest three siblings, Samantha, Josh, and Laura.
“We moved from place to place,” says Josh about life with their father. “A lot of times he couldn’t afford to stay there for a long period of time.”
School and athletics became an important anchor in their lives. Josh distinguished himself as a strong competitor in track and field and cross country, accumulating an impressive collection of awards. But these successes could not completely eclipse the difficulty of their living situation.
Josh recalls one period of time when their father was in a relationship with a hoarder. They lived amongst the jumble of debris and clutter until the landlord sold the property, and then they were on the move again.
Meanwhile, Lilly tried to find a way to get her younger siblings back to the children’s home.
“I knew how much of a blessing it was to me,” she says, “and by all means my father had not changed his ways one bit. I would come over to filth and clothes three sizes too small. They lived in a garage apartment with no wall separation, just one room, no food in the fridge. Most days they would go to school wearing the same dirty clothes from last week—random people in and out of their house at all hours of the night.”
Without legal guardianship, Lilly had no power to change the situation, but she continued to watch, wait, and pray. Meanwhile, she completed college to become a registered nurse and married her husband Adam Flores.
REUNITED
In December of 2014, the Parker family story came to another sudden turn as unexpectedly as all the ones that came before.
“Our dad went missing,” explains Josh.
Lilly and Adam were at the airport returning from a vacation when they received a phone call. It was Samantha.
“Our dad had dropped them off with someone random,” says Lilly. “The conditions were terrible and they were scared.”
Lilly and Adam immediately rearranged their small home in Aransas Pass to accommodate two high schoolers and a preteen. When their father finally resurfaced, he was persuaded to relinquish legal guardianship to Lilly.
“It’s kind of like, if you love something, set it free,” Josh says. “He couldn’t provide a better living situation at the point he was in.”
Samantha, Josh, and Laura completed the school year while living with Lilly and Adam. The couple, then in their mid-twenties, was willing to provide a permanent home for the three younger siblings, but they also knew they couldn’t provide everything.
“My husband and I couldn’t send three children to college; we were barely getting by just for the seven months they lived in our home,” Lilly says.
The siblings sat down for a family meeting to discuss the pros and cons of returning to STCH Ministries Homes for Children.
“STCH could give them so much more than my husband and I could offer at the time,” says Lilly, “but I let them know that it was their choice.”
The choice was perhaps most difficult for Samantha, who was about to enter her senior year of high school.
“I was a little wary of returning,” Samantha says, “because I had made so many friends back in Port Aransas and it was a little hard to leave them. I had also grown really close to my older sister, Lilly, because I had lived with her for a bit.”
Despite these apprehensions, the three youngest Parkers agreed to return to STCH Ministries in the summer of 2015, at least to try it out.
THE RETURN
Even though she knew STCH Ministries would be a good home for her siblings, Lilly says that the parting was painful.
“I felt like I lost my kids, that I had abandoned them. I felt like a piece of my heart was missing,” she recalls.
But unlike the day twelve years earlier when she found herself at the doorstep of a Boothe Campus cottage for the first time, the return of the younger siblings was a choice. Samantha, Josh, and Laura also had adult siblings who knew what they were going through and could support them as they adjusted to their new life. STCH Ministries encourages these family bonds while children are in care, and in the case of broken relationships with parents, seeks to bring reconciliation whenever possible.
Within months, the three younger Parkers flourished.
“One thing I love about STCH,” says Samantha, “is that the people there really genuinely care about you and that’s really amazing, and when I came back everyone was very welcoming. It’s also pretty easy to make friends because most of the children there are going (or have gone) through similar things.”
Samantha graduated from Pettus High School in 2016 and now studies computer science at Texas A&M University-Corpus Christi with a scholarship from Texas Baptists and support from STCH Ministries. Her two seasons living at Boothe Campus, separated by so much time away, give her a unique perspective on the impact that the children’s home had on her life.
“I think as a kid I didn’t really understand why I was at STCH or what was going on,” Samantha says. “But now I’m really grateful and glad that STCH and the people there have been a part of my life. Because I like who I have become and I also wouldn’t be where I am without them.”
Josh can recall the sensation of returning to a place that still lived in his early childhood memories. “It was cool coming back here the second time around and seeing the pictures of us when we were little.”
In his final three years of high school, Josh continued his distinguished athletic career, bringing home a slew of victories in track and field and cross country for the Pettus Eagles. On
June 1, 2018, he graduated as an honor roll student and intends to pursue a degree in kinesiology.
“Athletics is my passion,” he says. “I like the hustle. I like the competition. I like getting me and others better at what they enjoy doing.”
As Josh spends his post-high-school summer on Boothe Campus, he reflects on both the hardships and the opportunities that have influenced his life.
“I feel like this is something God had a set plan for us to do—come back here and just be a light to others, kind of share our story.”
For Laura, who left the children’s home as a three-year-old, returning as a preteen was uncharted territory.
“I thought it was really weird,” she admits.
Three years later, she is one of the kids that knows her way around and can make new children feel welcome on campus.
Laura says she especially enjoys summer time at Boothe Campus, often swimming in the pool and playing in the gym. She also enjoys volunteering for VBS at her church and taking part in the vocational training program at Homes for Children, in which the students get to spend time shadowing staff members on the job.
Older sister Lindsay says of Laura, “She is a very kind, funny, and loving young lady who I know will do great things.”
Lilly, the oldest sibling, lives in Aransas Pass with her husband Adam and their one-year-old daughter.
“My life was completely changed the day I was dropped off at STCH,” she says. “Without STCH, I would not be where I am today. I don’t think college would have ever been in the plans, and here I am a registered nurse like I’ve always prayed about.”
The rest of the siblings know that the door is always open at Lilly’s house. For holidays and special occasions, that is still the place they call “home”.
“It makes my heart extremely happy that this is where home is to them and that I can provide that for them,” says Lilly.
Lindsay, the second oldest sister, is also a registered nurse, now working in Waco, Texas. Although she doesn’t get to see her siblings as much as she would like because of the distance, she says they still have a special bond.
“As siblings we are the only people who really understand each other,” Lindsay explains, “and I believe we are all pretty close because of the situation we had to go through.”
Lilly adds, “To say my siblings and I struggled is an understatement. We have been through so much and I feel like we have come out so much stronger on the other side. There are those in our lives that know some of our story, some that know a lot of our story, and some that do not know anything at all. And I think to be around my siblings and I, you would never know the struggle, the pain, or the heartache that we have endured in our lifetime.”
Their resilience, Lilly says, is rooted in faith and family.
“At the end of the day we are the Parker kids. God has sent us through rough waters; we may fall, but we will always get up again.”
From left to right: Oldest sister Lilly and her husband Adam, Laura holding her one-year-old niece Harper, Josh, and Samantha. The Parker siblings enjoy spending time together and often congregate at Lilly and Adam’s home for holidays and special occasions.
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Volunteer Spotlight
/in ChangePoint Moments/by CommunicationsAs a volunteer teacher for STCH Ministries Faith & Finances, Julie helps individuals, couples, and entire families learn how to make a spending plan, manage debt and loans, live more simply, and set goals for saving.
“Faith and Finances is the best title in the world to me,” Julie explained, “because I’m sold out on people getting their finances in order and I’m sold out on faith.”
“Julie Strayer is one of the most passionate and high energy volunteers we have ever met!” said Jimmy Rodriguez, Director of Faith & Finances in Corpus Christi. “She is a busy and successful businesswoman who finds time to follow her calling to help others, and she also recruits business colleagues and fellow church members to help out.”
It stirs Julie’s heart to hear students’ stories about the consequences of poor money management.
“One sad situation is people taking out payday loans to hold them over until their next paycheck,” Julie shared. “God says the borrower is slave to the lender, and these six-month payday loans are charging 60 to 70 percent interest! We’ve got to do something to help people overcome the obstacles that keep them trapped. Faith & Finances classes are a beginning.”
“I love that you don’t have to be brilliant to learn about personal finance,” Julie continued. “You can be normal and average and become financially secure. Managing finances is a basic life skill you have to learn, just like driving a car. It burdens me that people aren’t learning it. The world is broken, and it encourages us to be broke…to spend every penny we have. When you are financially broke, it is easy to get beaten down. Before long, every aspect of your life gets broken. But, when a person is willing to look at their finances and begin getting them in order, other areas of their life start falling into place. I truly believe that!”
STCH Ministries is grateful for volunteers like Julie who serve others through the things they are passionate about. What is your passion? To learn how you can serve, visitwww.STCHM.org/Ways-to-Help.
Loving the Functionally Fatherless
/in ChangePoint Moments/by Homes for ChildrenMany of our kids come from functionally fatherless situations; it may be that there was a divorce, a death, absentee, or situational fatherlessness. The children’s home does not receive the parental rights to the children when they come into care. The individual placing the child remains the one with rights to the children. We are called to come alongside, ministering to the family and children with the love of Christ, being family-like.
As Father’s Day came this year, as in previous years, my phone received many text messages of “Happy Father’s Day!” As I age, I can gauge the era in which the sender of the text lived at the South Texas Children’s Home. If the text refers to me as “Greg”, then the sender lived here during the 90’s; and if they call me “Mr. Huskey”, then they were from the 2000’s. I am grateful for having all these kids in my life. Whether in church, at school, or at the home, I have never tried to be a father to the students. However, I have tried to be “father like” to all.
Thus, that brings me back to why we are called. We are called to love. Love is what God did for us to the point of the death of His son. No greater love than a man lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13). Love is more than words, it is a call to action, a call to love “the least of these” (Matthew 25:40), to show the love of our Heavenly Father. He is our Daddy, Abba, and Father to the functionally fatherless.
And a final thought: without receiving God in our lives, we are functionally living, but spiritually fatherless. Let us freely give what we have freely received.
Submitted by Greg Huskey
Boothe Campus Administrator
STCH Ministries Homes for Children
Together Again
/in Vol. 66, Issue 2/by Communications[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”no” equal_height_columns=”no” menu_anchor=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”” id=”” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_position=”center center” background_repeat=”no-repeat” fade=”no” background_parallax=”none” parallax_speed=”0.3″ video_mp4=”” video_webm=”” video_ogv=”” video_url=”” video_aspect_ratio=”16:9″ video_loop=”yes” video_mute=”yes” overlay_color=”” video_preview_image=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” padding_top=”” padding_bottom=”” padding_left=”” padding_right=””][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ layout=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” border_position=”all” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding_top=”” padding_right=”” padding_bottom=”” padding_left=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” center_content=”no” last=”no” min_height=”” hover_type=”none” link=””][fusion_text]
The story of a family, like that of an individual, can take many twists and turns along the road of life, and few know this better than the Parker siblings. Over the past fifteen years, seven Parker children have called Boothe Campus home; the oldest five are now grown, and thirteen-year-old Laura, the youngest, is still a resident at Love Cottage. Eighteen-year-old Josh, a brand new high school graduate, stands in the middle with one foot across the line of adulthood while he savors his last summer before starting college. To look at them now, one can see great potential and a promising future, but this family has seen their share of unexpected events, separations, and hardships. Looking back, Josh now clearly recognizes the hand of God at work.
“It gave us a lot of endurance and a lot of courage to do the things we do now,” he says. “I feel like God has done that, and then He’s given us this place to kind of show us His way of doing things.”
However, the future was anything but clear when a four-year-old Josh and his older siblings arrived at the South Texas Children’s Home in August of 2003.
THE ARRIVAL
Josh has little recollection of life before the children’s home, but his oldest sister Lilly remembers their arrival vividly.
“I was terrified,” she recalls. “A new place, so many new people, new parents, a new ‘family’ as I called it. I imagined a huge house with 100 kids, twenty kids to a room.”
Lilly put on a brave exterior for the sake of her younger siblings. “I HAD to be the strong one and not let my fear show through,” she says. But underneath the calm façade, she felt just the opposite.
“My father dropped us off and never looked back, so as any thirteen-year-old would feel, I was scared and felt so alone.”
Soon Lilly realized that the quiet neighborhood of cottages on Boothe Campus was nothing to fear, but like most children, the Parker kids needed time to settle in.
“It took a lot of adjusting,” Lilly says. “Probably over a year, to be exact, to work through the pain of abandonment and feeling unloved and ‘thrown away’.”
One year after the arrival of the six Parker children on campus, the family grew by one. Laura Parker was born and soon came to Boothe Campus as an infant.
For the next several years, the seven siblings continued to live at the children’s home together. Time and love began to heal the emotional trauma while the children built positive new memories.
“I remember all the different activities and going to camp,” says Samantha, who was in elementary school at the time. “I also remember all of the friends I had made while being there, and then also friends I had made at school.”
Lilly recalls the sense of peace that she began to discover as she settled into her new home.
“By the end of my sophomore year, I finally felt like I had a family, that I had ‘real’ parents that loved me for me.”
Soon Lilly graduated from high school at Pettus ISD, and Matthew, Lindsay, Andrew, Samantha, Josh, and Laura occupied a stair-step assortment of grade levels down to pre-school. They experienced the normal ups and downs of school and family life that make up childhood, but Lindsay (the third oldest) remembers this as a time of restoration.
“STCH helped us all heal and learn what it means to really love and be loved,” she says.
Life finally seemed stable. But the summer of 2007 would bring major changes for the Parker siblings.
THE SEPARATION
“I chose to stay because I knew the home would be able to support my dream of going to college and making a better life for myself,” says Lindsay.
At the same time, she felt a great sense of concern for her younger siblings.
“Honestly, I didn’t think they should have left,” she says. “I knew my dad couldn’t and wouldn’t take care of them like they should have been.”
The younger siblings moved to Port Aransas with their father. The move was bittersweet. When asked if he felt that returning to his dad was a good thing, Josh says, “In a way yes, but also no…He wasn’t exactly employed.”
The next eight years were marked by instability for the youngest three siblings, Samantha, Josh, and Laura.
“We moved from place to place,” says Josh about life with their father. “A lot of times he couldn’t afford to stay there for a long period of time.”
School and athletics became an important anchor in their lives. Josh distinguished himself as a strong competitor in track and field and cross country, accumulating an impressive collection of awards. But these successes could not completely eclipse the difficulty of their living situation.
Josh recalls one period of time when their father was in a relationship with a hoarder. They lived amongst the jumble of debris and clutter until the landlord sold the property, and then they were on the move again.
Meanwhile, Lilly tried to find a way to get her younger siblings back to the children’s home.
“I knew how much of a blessing it was to me,” she says, “and by all means my father had not changed his ways one bit. I would come over to filth and clothes three sizes too small. They lived in a garage apartment with no wall separation, just one room, no food in the fridge. Most days they would go to school wearing the same dirty clothes from last week—random people in and out of their house at all hours of the night.”
Without legal guardianship, Lilly had no power to change the situation, but she continued to watch, wait, and pray. Meanwhile, she completed college to become a registered nurse and married her husband Adam Flores.
REUNITED
“Our dad went missing,” explains Josh.
Lilly and Adam were at the airport returning from a vacation when they received a phone call. It was Samantha.
“Our dad had dropped them off with someone random,” says Lilly. “The conditions were terrible and they were scared.”
Lilly and Adam immediately rearranged their small home in Aransas Pass to accommodate two high schoolers and a preteen. When their father finally resurfaced, he was persuaded to relinquish legal guardianship to Lilly.
“It’s kind of like, if you love something, set it free,” Josh says. “He couldn’t provide a better living situation at the point he was in.”
Samantha, Josh, and Laura completed the school year while living with Lilly and Adam. The couple, then in their mid-twenties, was willing to provide a permanent home for the three younger siblings, but they also knew they couldn’t provide everything.
“My husband and I couldn’t send three children to college; we were barely getting by just for the seven months they lived in our home,” Lilly says.
The siblings sat down for a family meeting to discuss the pros and cons of returning to STCH Ministries Homes for Children.
“STCH could give them so much more than my husband and I could offer at the time,” says Lilly, “but I let them know that it was their choice.”
The choice was perhaps most difficult for Samantha, who was about to enter her senior year of high school.
“I was a little wary of returning,” Samantha says, “because I had made so many friends back in Port Aransas and it was a little hard to leave them. I had also grown really close to my older sister, Lilly, because I had lived with her for a bit.”
Despite these apprehensions, the three youngest Parkers agreed to return to STCH Ministries in the summer of 2015, at least to try it out.
THE RETURN
Even though she knew STCH Ministries would be a good home for her siblings, Lilly says that the parting was painful.
“I felt like I lost my kids, that I had abandoned them. I felt like a piece of my heart was missing,” she recalls.
But unlike the day twelve years earlier when she found herself at the doorstep of a Boothe Campus cottage for the first time, the return of the younger siblings was a choice. Samantha, Josh, and Laura also had adult siblings who knew what they were going through and could support them as they adjusted to their new life. STCH Ministries encourages these family bonds while children are in care, and in the case of broken relationships with parents, seeks to bring reconciliation whenever possible.
Within months, the three younger Parkers flourished.
“One thing I love about STCH,” says Samantha, “is that the people there really genuinely care about you and that’s really amazing, and when I came back everyone was very welcoming. It’s also pretty easy to make friends because most of the children there are going (or have gone) through similar things.”
Samantha graduated from Pettus High School in 2016 and now studies computer science at Texas A&M University-Corpus Christi with a scholarship from Texas Baptists and support from STCH Ministries. Her two seasons living at Boothe Campus, separated by so much time away, give her a unique perspective on the impact that the children’s home had on her life.
“I think as a kid I didn’t really understand why I was at STCH or what was going on,” Samantha says. “But now I’m really grateful and glad that STCH and the people there have been a part of my life. Because I like who I have become and I also wouldn’t be where I am without them.”
Josh can recall the sensation of returning to a place that still lived in his early childhood memories. “It was cool coming back here the second time around and seeing the pictures of us when we were little.”
In his final three years of high school, Josh continued his distinguished athletic career, bringing home a slew of victories in track and field and cross country for the Pettus Eagles. On
June 1, 2018, he graduated as an honor roll student and intends to pursue a degree in kinesiology.
“Athletics is my passion,” he says. “I like the hustle. I like the competition. I like getting me and others better at what they enjoy doing.”
As Josh spends his post-high-school summer on Boothe Campus, he reflects on both the hardships and the opportunities that have influenced his life.
“I feel like this is something God had a set plan for us to do—come back here and just be a light to others, kind of share our story.”
“I thought it was really weird,” she admits.
Three years later, she is one of the kids that knows her way around and can make new children feel welcome on campus.
Laura says she especially enjoys summer time at Boothe Campus, often swimming in the pool and playing in the gym. She also enjoys volunteering for VBS at her church and taking part in the vocational training program at Homes for Children, in which the students get to spend time shadowing staff members on the job.
Older sister Lindsay says of Laura, “She is a very kind, funny, and loving young lady who I know will do great things.”
Lilly, the oldest sibling, lives in Aransas Pass with her husband Adam and their one-year-old daughter.
“My life was completely changed the day I was dropped off at STCH,” she says. “Without STCH, I would not be where I am today. I don’t think college would have ever been in the plans, and here I am a registered nurse like I’ve always prayed about.”
The rest of the siblings know that the door is always open at Lilly’s house. For holidays and special occasions, that is still the place they call “home”.
Lindsay, the second oldest sister, is also a registered nurse, now working in Waco, Texas. Although she doesn’t get to see her siblings as much as she would like because of the distance, she says they still have a special bond.
“As siblings we are the only people who really understand each other,” Lindsay explains, “and I believe we are all pretty close because of the situation we had to go through.”
Lilly adds, “To say my siblings and I struggled is an understatement. We have been through so much and I feel like we have come out so much stronger on the other side. There are those in our lives that know some of our story, some that know a lot of our story, and some that do not know anything at all. And I think to be around my siblings and I, you would never know the struggle, the pain, or the heartache that we have endured in our lifetime.”
Their resilience, Lilly says, is rooted in faith and family.
“At the end of the day we are the Parker kids. God has sent us through rough waters; we may fall, but we will always get up again.”
From left to right: Oldest sister Lilly and her husband Adam, Laura holding her one-year-old niece Harper, Josh, and Samantha. The Parker siblings enjoy spending time together and often congregate at Lilly and Adam’s home for holidays and special occasions.
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An Agency of Texas Baptists
/in Print Edition, Vol. 66, Issue 2/by CommunicationsSTCH Ministries is a Texas Baptists affiliated agency, one of twenty-eight Christian education and human care institutions across the state that are part of the extended family of the Baptist General Convention of Texas (BGCT). Each member of this family operates independently, but we are intrinsically linked by our faith and our mission to advance kingdom work. Consisting of more than 5,300 Baptist churches, the BGCT serves a vital role in supporting the ministry of its member organizations.
STCH Ministries President and CEO Eron Green (left) shakes hands with BGCT Executive Director David Hardage at the 2016 Annual Meeting.
“We are institutions that are cut from a very similar cloth,” STCH Ministries President and CEO Eron Green said about the relationship between STCH Ministries and the BGCT.
So how does this connection play out in the day-to-day work of STCH Ministries? One significant benefit is the support that Texas Baptists provide through the Cooperative Program. The program brings together financial contributions from participating churches to fund missions, evangelism, education, and ministry efforts.
Over the past ten years alone, the Texas Baptists Cooperative Program has given $5.85 million to STCH Ministries to help provide homes, counseling, and life-skills training to hurting families.
“The convention believes in the mission, the results, and the work of STCH,” said Steve Vernon, Texas Baptists Associate Executive Director. “We value the partnership and rejoice in the amazing work that is ongoing at this vital ministry.”
Tim Williams, STCH Ministries Director of Church Relations, is one of the staff members who travel across the state sharing with churches about the work of STCH Ministries. He often speaks to church members who do not realize that their regular church giving already helps support our ministries.
“There are a lot of different ways that the program makes an impact that people are not even aware of,” Williams said. “STCH Ministries is their ministry to children and hurting families because they support us and have supported us through the BGCT Cooperative Program. They help us do it.”
The Texas Baptist Hunger Offering provides groceries for families served by STCH Ministries International.
While the Cooperative Program supports the overall mission of STCH Ministries, there are additional resources for specific areas of need. The Texas Baptist Hunger Offering provides a monthly grant to STCH Ministries International, which buys food in the Dominican Republic for needy children. Our local ministry team members already have relationships with families who are benefitting from our medical, dental, and construction mission projects. The additional resource of Hunger Offering groceries brings another element of stability into the lives of children who are on the verge of breaking free from generational poverty.
Closer to home, the relationship between STCH Ministries and Texas Baptists helps open doors to the future for children who grow up at Boothe Campus. STCH Ministries Homes for Children has always maintained a commitment to provide an opportunity for higher education to the children who graduate while in care.
“Our kids placed in care have the opportunity to attend college or universities in the state of Texas through our STCH Ministries Higher Education Scholarship program,” says Greg Huskey, Boothe Campus Administrator.
Thanks to Texas Baptists, that scholarship program frequently gets an extra boost. Upon high school graduation, many students attend Baptist universities, which provide significant scholarships to students coming from a Baptist children’s home. Young adults who may once have had no prospects of college whatsoever are able to receive a private, Christian education without the burden of student loans. Frequently, these students are the first in their families to achieve a college degree.
While at college, many of these students find fellowship and spiritual support at their local Baptist Student Ministry (BSM) chapter, of which there are more than one hundred across Texas college campuses. BSMs are a ministry of Texas Baptists that serve college students, while at the same time empowering those students to serve others.
Students from the Corpus Christi BSM, at Texas A&M University-Corpus Christi and Del Mar College, have donated weekends to serving at Boothe Campus. During this time, students interact with the children, cook meals for the cottage families, and do minor maintenance work around the grounds.
STCH Ministries participates in the Texas Baptists Annual Meeting, enjoying fellowship and collaboration with dozens of other Baptist organizations and thousands of Baptist churches.
Texas Baptist churches and institutions have invested in many different facets of STCH Ministries. One of the ways that we give back is through a collaboration of our Family Counseling and Pastor Care ministries with Texas Baptists Counseling Services. When a crisis arises in the family of a pastor or church staff member, STCH Ministries is equipped to provide confidential counseling.
“We feel that if we can help to strengthen those called to ministry, they will in turn help to strengthen those they minister to,” said Darin Griffiths, Vice President of Family Counseling at STCH Ministries.
“STCH and BGCT have partnered together offering ‘intensives’ to ministry couples who are experiencing difficulties which could hinder their ministry opportunities,” explained Griffiths. “The normal counseling experience provides a one-hour session every other week for about 10 to 12 sessions. An intensive is different in that a couple can receive about 10 hours (equivalent of 10 sessions) worth of counseling in one-and-a-half days.”
As with the other areas of partnership, Griffiths believes that this collaboration is a natural fit, saying, “Our values are very much alike. From my perspective, the BGCT exists to assist those who are on the front lines of ministry, sharing the gospel to a hurting world.”
STCH Ministries is grateful to be a member of the Texas Baptists family and we look forward to many more years of fruitful ministry together in Texas and beyond.
If you are a member of a Texas Baptist congregation, we hope you will visit our booth at the Texas Baptist Family Gathering this summer. The annual meeting will be held in Arlington, Texas, on July 29-31, 2018. Learn more at www.TexasBaptists.org/FamilyGathering.
The Powerful Work of Play
/in Print Edition, Vol. 66, Issue 2/by CommunicationsFor young children dealing with trauma, the play therapy room quickly becomes a safe spot. Yet much more than “child’s play” takes place as the children interact with trained therapists who understand the importance of play.
According to the Association for Play Therapy, the natural process of play helps children regulate emotions and improve communication and problem-solving skills. Play also lifts a child’s spirit and self-esteem.
“Play is a child’s language, and toys are their words,” said Lorena Mendez, Regional Director-Corpus Christi for STCH Ministries Family Counseling, quoting a common axiom among play therapists. “There’s no better way to establish a connection with a child than to say, ‘Hey, let’s play.’ Play therapy gives a child the freedom to express their experiences, needs, wants, wishes, and feelings in a way that is developmentally appropriate for them.”
Parents typically bring their children to STCH Ministries for counseling because of behavioral issues at home or school. Changes in behavior can arise in situations of bullying, divorce or abandonment, past physical or sexual abuse, and grief over the loss of a parent. Depression, attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and conduct disorders also create difficulties for children and their families.
“Trauma is very disruptive and makes everyone feel out of control,” shared STCH Ministries therapist Carolyn Cocklin, who is currently working toward her RPT. “Emotionally speaking, children have some of the same feelings and thinking as adults who experience post-traumatic stress – anger, confusion, fear, guilt, or shame. However, children lack the reasoning abilities to understand the why behind a trauma, or the cognitive ability to express in words what they are experiencing. So, they typically blame themselves. It is important to give children a place where they can feel validated and in control. The play therapy playroom becomes the child’s little world where they can mentally process things and begin to stabilize their behavior.”
STCH Ministries therapists are trained in various play therapy methods to meet the unique challenges of each child. Often, they choose the non-directive client-centered approach to best build rapport, trust, and consistency, Mendez said.
During a client-centered session, the play therapist patiently listens and observes the child at play without judgment. The therapist does not ask questions about what the child is doing or question them about their past. To give the child greater creative freedom, the therapist also avoids labeling any object or behavior. If a child asks the therapist for help with decisions or actions, the therapist will return responsibility to the child with gentle, empowering phrases such as: “You choose”; “That can be anything you want it to be”; or an encouraging “You can do it.”
Therapists see parents privately every three or four weeks during the play therapy counseling process. Therapists work hard to give parents positive feedback on their child to help them see the child as a whole person and not just the problem. As adults in a child’s world become healthier emotionally, and family dynamics improve, children get better too.
“What I love about play therapy is how unique it is,” Mendez said. “It is unlike anything the child will experience in life because it is so non-directive. Kids get plenty of teaching, instructions, discipline, and criticism in the big world. The small play therapy room gives children the opportunity to get what they need without anyone telling them what that is. It’s a chance to learn who they are and how they would do it if given the time and space.”
Children will be kept safe, of course, and are not allowed to hurt themselves, the therapist, or any property. But limits are not set until there is a need for a boundary based on a child’s behavior. When children do test the boundaries with their behavior, the therapist will show empathy first, then verbalize a limit and gently redirect the child.
Important work takes place in the playroom when children use toys as symbols to represent something in their life. Therapists call this a play metaphor.
Cocklin also finds this to be true. “A child’s metaphorical play provides a picture of how the child perceives themselves and their life,” Cocklin said.
“As they live out events of their past in the playroom, the metaphor is ‘live’ and it can be controlled. The child can even rewrite the ending for what is happening in their life. This is how they get a big win!”
It is important to realize that play therapy is not a quick fix for children. It helps stabilize the child at the developmental stage they are at, as well as provide the child with a greater ability to perceive, respond to, and manage their lives and behaviors in a healthier way. It helps them regain some control over their lives. But the effects of trauma may need to be addressed again in the future as the child reaches a new level of development.
Over the course of the treatment, parents gradually begin noticing their child seems “better,” has fewer tantrums, or doesn’t get in trouble as much. Children move from being sad, angry, or fearful in the playroom to being more spontaneous, content, and confident. Therapists also see improvements in the areas of problem-solving, communication, self-care, and self-control.
“The world is God’s playroom,” Mendez concluded. “He allows us time, space, and energy to get what we need or what we think we need. Just like the therapist in the play therapy room, He sits WITH us as we learn from the boundaries He has set, and His unconditional, loving presence. It takes a while, but He is patient—watching, waiting, validating, hoping, and believing the best for our lives. This is the love we take into the playroom each time we enter a child’s world.”
To find out if play therapy is right for your child, contact STCH Ministries Family Counseling at 1.833.83.STCHM.
Journal Wonderings
/in Joanna's Journal/by Joanna Berry“The Bible is alive, it speaks to me; it runs after me; it has hands, it lays hold of me.”—Martin Luther
We may know a lot about the Bible. We believe God’s promises. We memorize verses and repeat sayings like: “Prayer changes things,” “With God all things are possible,” and “I can do all things through Christ.” Perhaps the greatest benefit for mission trip participants happens when those words jump off the pages of our Bibles and are actualized through our experiences and our heightened dependence on God.
FBC Newark, FBC Canyon Lake, and FBC Corpus Christi joined Dr. Shane Scott and his family from Mississippi, to form possibly the most diverse mission trip of the summer. A few days later, the veteran teams from FBC Kenedy and Trinity Baptist Church in Kerrville were joined by newcomers from Oak Ridge Baptist Church in Portland. Both mission weeks were full of opportunities to live out God’s promises.
Pastors from the teams also led a day-long conference for Dominican pastors.
The previous week Pastor Brian from FBC Corpus Christi preached two sermons on Sunday, while others stepped up at the last minute to teach men, women, children, and teens at the Saturday evening Family Fiesta. The team rushed back from their market-beach day and in record time took up their positions to serve hot dogs to the crowd. The verse “I can do all things through Christ” provided wisdom, energy, and stamina.
“With God all things are possible” proved true for inexperienced hands with no construction experience, who felt overwhelmed. Moments later, they held drills, used electric sanders and routers, and made 15 bookshelves for schools. The same promise foretold the resulting two-story home built for a Samuel’s Fund family. Both experienced workers and greenhorns were joined by the family in a marathon construction endeavor.
Every mission team spends some time at one of the orphanages that STCH Ministries helps to sponsor. Teams took the Monte Plata children to see the underground caves, treated the Higuey orphanage boys to an outing at the aquarium, then shopped for shoes.
Another team packed an overnight bag and loaded on a bus to the Santiago orphanage. Within minutes of arrival, they crossed the street to “love their neighbors as themselves.” Some taught and others played with the children. Some held babies, fed them, and changed their diapers. So many beautiful children, so few workers, so little hope for their future opportunities. The experience profoundly impacted the team. In a country with legal issues, a lack of resources, and a flawed concept of child care, there seems to be an impenetrable barrier for change. Except…except we believe “prayer changes things.”
The question becomes: Will that promise jump off the pages of our Bibles? Will those words run after us, become hands that lay hold of us? In spite of our busy, scheduled lives here in America, can we remember to faithfully pray, believing that prayer WILL change things? These children and many more depend on those prayers.
Real People, Real Kids, Real Needs
/in Vol. 66, Issue 2/by Kyle LukeIt all started more than fifteen years ago when Randy and Carole Black ventured to Vietnam to pick up their adopted daughter Emma, who was sixteen months old at the time, giving her the precious gift of a forever home. Little did they know that Emma’s adoption would only be the start of a lifelong commitment to helping children and families in need.
Randy is the Operations Manager for ConocoPhillips over the Gulf Coast Business Unit and currently lives in Cypress, Texas, with his family and attends Harvest Bible Church. Before moving to Cypress, the Blacks lived in Anchorage, Alaska, and Laredo, Texas, and Randy has worked for ConocoPhillips for thirty-five years. Inspired by the matching gift program and the philanthropic culture at ConocoPhillips, he became involved at a local children’s home in Laredo, and when he and his family moved to the Houston area for his new role as Operations Manager, he was quickly introduced to STCH Ministries.
Randy says he was looking for something ConocoPhillips could rally around and give back to the community where his team worked, and beginning in 2011 he felt led to have the company help in tangible ways by bringing groups to Boothe Campus. They tackled projects like updating the outdoor basketball courts, helping to improve network infrastructure, and throwing parties for Christmas and Easter. The employees were able to have a hands-on experience as they helped the children with items they needed.
For the last four years, ConocoPhillips has hosted a sporting clays tournament, which has benefited STCH Ministries through the proceeds of the event, as well as by sharing our mission with many individuals and businesses.
The McElveens state they are blessed by the friendship of Randy and what he does for the children.
“It’s not about the stuff; it’s about sponsors getting to know the children and having a relationship,” says Cassandra.
Gene and Cassandra enjoy the one-on-one relationship with Randy and how he takes the time to personally invest in each child in the cottage.
Randy says that the personal connection is exactly what he values most about being a cottage sponsor.
“It honestly drew me in because you could personally get involved with the houseparents and directly involved with the kids, with birthdays, Christmas gifts, and shopping,” Randy said. “I was dealing with real people, real kids, and real needs. I have thoroughly enjoyed it.”
Christmas is a favorite time of year for the Blacks, when the annual ConocoPhillips Christmas party brings holiday cheer to Boothe Campus, but they say it is a special treat to actually shop for the cottages they personally sponsor. Over the years the Blacks have sponsored various cottages, and because of the matching gift program at ConocoPhillips, they are able to sponsor two cottages.
The Blacks have sponsored Foster Cottage since their initial involvement in 2011. Terry and Sheila Backen, houseparents at Foster Cottage, have a deep appreciation for their faithful sponsors. Sheila says, “The Blacks’ sponsorship is extremely meaningful, not just because of their financial support, but also because of a strong emotional commitment to the home as a whole and to the individual children in our cottage.”
The Backens enjoy the experiences made possible by the sponsorship program, such as a child’s first birthday party, a trip to the zoo, or even a quick trip for milkshakes with their cottage full of boys.
Randy says that one of the most rewarding parts of sponsorship is the opportunity to see the children grow as individuals.
“It has been marvelous to get to know the kids and be able to not only see their physical maturity but their spiritual maturity,” he says. “It’s hard not to want to be a part of an organization like STCH Ministries. For us, it’s an incredible blessing.”
Greg Huskey, Boothe Campus Administrator says, “The Randy Black family is a model of servanthood for me and for the residents on Boothe Campus. The Blacks embody Aristotle’s words, ‘What is the essence of life? To serve others and do good.’ We are profoundly grateful to the Black family for their servanthood and generosity to our students and staff.”
Children placed at Boothe Campus all have one thing in common: the desire to be loved. Cottage sponsorship is a unique and fun way for individuals, Sunday School classes, or businesses to establish a relationship with a specific cottage and share God’s love through a simple act of generosity. Sponsorship can be a monthly, quarterly, or annual gift of any amount, and the process to get started is simple.
To learn more about how you can invest in the lives of children, please visit www.STCHM.org/Cottage-Sponsorship or call 361.375.2417.
Reaping with Joy
/in Joanna's Journal/by Joanna BerryIt was humbling, eye-opening, and “mucho caliente” (very hot) as they rebuilt a home for a Samuel’s Fund family. They also conducted VBS and spent some time at the Monte Plata orphanage where they gave manicures, baked, played with children, and shared their testimonies. When Ramon Prensa, founder of the home, shared his story, the STCH Ministries team marveled at the similarity between his faith journey and Laura Boothe’s journey to begin a children’s home in South Texas so many years ago.
This mission trip was especially unique for Patty Kinnamon, commissary supervisor at Boothe Campus. In 2007, Patty and her husband Marvin were houseparents and took part in one of our first mission trips to the DR. At the time, we did not have the infrastructure that our teams now enjoy, and the trip was a difficult experience. Over 100 children spoke in high decibels and all at the same time in Spanish. Tropical sun and heat, primitive conditions, along with a typical native diet of boiled green bananas and salami, altogether the circumstances created a significant level of culture shock for the team.
On the trip, Marvin had the responsibility of supervising the boys’ cabin at a summer camp. When he tried to get them to stay in their beds, one child threw a shoe at him and the rest impetuously joined, pelting him with their shoes. Despite his best efforts, he found the boys to be unmanageable. Marvin came away with the feeling that he just couldn’t get through to these children.
In 2015, Marvin Kinnamon passed away and moved his permanent home address to Heaven. He is still greatly missed by all of us at STCH Ministries.
When Patty returned to the DR, she was re-introduced to Victor and Argenis Berroa, twin brothers who participated in the infamous shoe assault directed at Marvin. Today they are Godly young men, leaders in the IBQ church, helpers for our mission teams, and recipients of CLEP scholarships for their university studies.
“When did you give your lives to Christ?” Patty asked.
“In 2007,” they answered.
For a minute Patty was wistful. “I wish Marvin could have seen this fruit from our efforts that seemed so hopeless back then.” Then she reflected, “From his perspective, I know he already does.”
One plants, others water and cultivate, but always God’s Spirit germinates His Word and brings forth changed lives and eternal life.
“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” Galatians 6:9, NKJV
Marriage Counseling
/in ChangePoint Moments/by Family CounselingRecently they reported that their three daughters have noticed such a big change in their marriage. Their middle daughter, who had completely withdrawn several months ago, is now going on daddy/daughter dates and has become much more open. Their family has also experienced many other successful moments since this couple began marriage counseling.
We have no doubt that God will finish the amazing work He has started with this family!
Submitted by Family Counseling – San Antonio
Suicide Is Preventable
/in ChangePoint Moments/by Family CounselingRecently a local pastor called our counseling office in San Antonio thanking our staff for sharing this message with him, his staff, and families in his church. The presentation raised awareness about suicide prevention, depression, grief, and steps to follow when someone is suicidal. Because we were able to have these hard conversations, this pastor new exactly what to do when one of the teens he ministers to approached him about having suicidal thoughts.
A tragedy was averted, help was available, and hope was restored for this teen and family!
Submitted by Family Counseling – San Antonio